10K Followers
1. 10K
In the end, I reached 10,000 followers in just fifteen days. It was faster than expected; my original goal was 5,000 within a month. My 10-year, no, 13-year history had evaporated in an instant. The massive system known as Instagram has gouged out ‘rabidstudio’—my livelihood and the archive of my convictions—three times in the past year alone. Now, they have even blocked me from using that name ever again.
People might ask, "What’s the big deal about one SNS account disappearing?" But for me, it was the only physical evidence proving that I am the ‘origin’ and the ‘original’ among the countless copycats, amateurs, studio merchants, and photographers pretending to be artists. Look at yourselves first. Isn't the thing you do most, 24 hours a day with a smartphone in hand, moving your thumbs for this "mere SNS"? In an era where trends change daily and exposure is absolute, SNS is a business, a business card, a diary, a history, and a record. This damn flow is the inevitable Zeitgeist. In the future, all subdivided professions will merge into one, and the only remaining job will be 'Celebrity.' And SNS is the most powerful tool for that.
In the void where my 13-year record vanished, only emptiness and anger remained. I stood in the wilderness, stripped bare. I was like a scientist who lost all their data in a second, or an owner of a famous restaurant that burned to the ground. But life did not allow me even a few hours to be depressed or frustrated. Time flows without stopping, and when my livelihood was at stake, no one reached out just because I was sad. All I got were light sympathies and platitudes that tickled the ears of ordinary people. I’m not looking for a "tragedy contest," but people only offered generic advice that didn't fit my life—a life that has collided with the world more fiercely than anyone else's. I wanted to share my honest feelings with those I felt close to, hoping for courage, but instead, they encouraged me to give up, looking down on me before I knew it. The way they used to look up to me when I was successful, only to now look down with pity, was truly hideous.
The best way was to keep moving forward, as I always have. It was important to gather the people I had lost. 10,000 followers. Someone might scoff at me for being so hung up on a number. But in this shallow numbers game of Instagram, 10K is not just a count. It is the ‘size of power’ that those who pretend to be modest and pure—while despising someone like me who does "shady and impure work"—never want to grant me. Honestly, damn it, unlike the majority who post uninteresting videos of themselves doing yoga, PT, or Pilates just to get applause, the power of numbers held by an outlier like me becomes an axe that shatters their hypocrisy. Even those who are curious about me but are too self-conscious to approach due to their pride or the fear of being judged—once I pass 10K, the unit of followers becomes hidden. At that point, even the hypocrites who couldn't bring themselves to click 'Follow' are disarmed by my influence. To them, numbers are trust and authority.
I am someone who prefers to move forward one step at a time. That is the only way to build a sustainable fanbase. However, with my livelihood urgent and the clock ticking, I had to choose the most extreme method among the thousands I know, since I wasn't about to buy fake followers. Even if I have to gather those who use SNS only for consumption or sexual outlets, once I build the symbolic number of power and trust, the foundation is set. After that, it’s not hard to draw in those who act pure and modest. Honestly, I could manipulate the masses and gather 100K in two months if I put my mind to it, but for now, 10K was the priority. It is my minimum line of defense built with grit and strategy—a shield of numbers that forces the hypocrites to acknowledge my existence.
2. Artist
I have never once called myself an artist. While the so-called ‘artists’ wearing their noble masks enjoyed their private parties within sticky cartels of blood, school, and regional ties, I was an outlier born outside those walls. The path of publishing fancy photobooks, hanging photos in galleries, and seeking applause in competitions that draw forced emotions from others was a door never opened for someone like me. I am simply a creator who is damn good at what I love, an honest ‘pervert’ who doesn't hide his desires. I know better than anyone that the moment I call myself an artist, I become easy prey for those "righteous" people. Yet, the undeniable fact is that my talent is far more artistic than those who are more skilled at gaining applause than having actual sense or ability.
I am a person who focuses more on instinct than reason, more on sense than emotion, and is more ignited by passion than business. Among those who express sexual desires through Nude, Boudoir, Sexy, and Sexuality, one of the common misunderstandings is thinking, "You are a person who creates photos or results similar to mine." However, I believe there is a world of difference between you and me in terms of quality and substance.
Even before I started blabbering, I hoped that no matter how much my actions and expressive means might fall short in terms of ethical contradictions or moral essence, the results themselves would strip away clumsiness and vulgarity. I wanted to create something that reaches the public as much as possible without losing its individuality. I wished to stand at the intersection of so-called auteurist and commercial methods, the very boundary between Art and Obscenity. I believe that the maximum effort to appear the most explicit yet the least vulgar will ultimately reach those who truly know how to see.
3. Woman
The foolish will obsess over the exposure and provocation in my photos and dismiss me as a pornographer, but my essence lies beyond that. I have no intention of commodifying women. That’s a story for someone making millions off of it. If I truly wanted to commodify women, I would have paid them to shoot. However people choose to interpret it, I view women as the sole inspiration that completes my world. Some might criticize this as objectification, but it is the inevitable fate of those who hold a camera. A photographer always needs a subject; I happen to be a man, and for me, the most perfect subject is a woman.
I like women, and I indulge in them. I have no intention of hiding the perverted tendencies within me. In fact, that blatant desire is the purest engine of my creation. Even if I were a painter, I would have always emphasized the sexual parts of women. To me, a woman not being there is like not having a camera in my hand. Just as I cannot take a photo without a machine, I would have stopped expressing myself without women. I despise objectification that treats women as mere 'objects.' Isn't it actually the women themselves who sell their own sexuality online who are commodifying it? Instead, I Deify women. I am certain that if God took human form and came to this earth, that form would surely be a woman. My work is not a lofty artistic excuse; it is a deeply personal and instinctive Ritual—an act of revealing my intense indulgence and perversion to worship women as the only gods of this earth.
The act of touching the subject directly is a "ruse." Touching is quite important. Of course, it may seem foul and obscene, but it is a way to close the distance by building an intimacy with the model that conversation alone cannot achieve. Naturalness comes from intimacy. Subtle yet indirect access becomes a great way to break down each other's walls and is a process through which eroticism is formed. This is why I absolutely hate it when photography is divided into different roles. Especially in today's commercialized shoots, there are too many people like stylists or makeup artists. Ultimately, it is the model and I who complete the final result, yet there are too many people unnecessarily intruding on the set these days. That is a huge distraction to concentration. I prefer touching the hair and adjusting the clothes myself. I like the detail and intimacy of actions like undoing a bra strap or refining the panty line. To be honest, photography itself is no big deal. You just press the button of a good camera under properly placed lights, and that's it. What matters is that the result varies depending on how much the model and I were focused during the process of expression. It doesn't matter if the model is female or male. I want to focus entirely on just the two of us. Of course, I have no impure intention of getting aroused or satisfying sexual desires through those acts. I’m not that pathetic, and a "pervert" of my level isn't a foolish child who gets excited by such things. It is about using humans as subjects to express humanity. Body heat and emotions are essential, and it's about closing the gap between me, the camera, and the model. In fact, these are actions we commonly do in our daily lives. Like handshakes and hug
4. Pervert
I am definitely a pervert, not an artist. I consider myself close to a 21st-century Araki Nobuyoshi. While not identical, he helped shape my photographic philosophy. I don't think being a pervert is inherently bad. A pervert is just someone more honest than average people, and there are levels to it. Among the men I’ve experienced, there were far more 'fathers of daughters,' 'sweet boyfriends,' or 'kind brothers' who hid their dark intentions and filth behind layers of hypocrisy. I believe most women don't know or don't want to see the truth. Their crudeness goes beyond filth; it’s richly dirty, petty, and more disgusting than any horror movie. At least I am more noble than those hypocritical bastards obsessed with fake morality. Unlike them, I don’t hide; I reveal myself everywhere to a desperate degree and never deny who I am. I am more attractive, confident, and honorable than they are, leaving behind works that contribute to the world. If the quality of my photos is lacking, feel free to criticize me. I still have a long way to go, and the need to satisfy even those critics serves as the engine for my growth. I take pride in my records and works; I’m a total pervert, but I know I’m damn good at what I do.
When 13 years of records vanished three times through permanent suspensions, I truly wanted to leave this fucking SNS battlefield. Living like a mental patient, checking every morning if my posts were safe, was hell. I sincerely hope Meta’s HQ gets destroyed or goes bankrupt. But ironically, this nonsense is my only business tool for my urgent livelihood. So I chose the most extreme and fatal strategy this time. As expected, I keep my word and I'm rarely wrong. Since I didn’t have the luxury of moving forward honestly step-by-step, I balanced on the sharp blade of various regulations and gathered 10,000 followers in just fifteen days. Though most are worthless men with empty heads, pretending to live ordinary lives while only thinking of dirty things with photos of naked people.
The foundation is set once again. I have established a stable numerical advantage and plan to attract future clients with an evolved form of sexuality. I don't know how much time I'll be allowed, but if you don't like my direction and want to curse me, feel free to do so. If you like my photos, spread them as much as you want. I believe all that noise will become the bricks that build my cathedral. The fact remains that I was the origin of this entire flow, and my senses will not evaporate. I am a pervert. And I am a genius. I know exactly what I am doing and how much I love it. I hope more women come to me with courage and boldness. I don't care how ugly or fat you think you are. I'm good at what I do. I can handle you. Of course, keep your pockets full of money.